Terms & Conditions

 
“This disclaimer does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my family, my friends, my dog, or anyone else I may or may not know: don’t quote me on that; don’t quote me on anything; this disclaimer is subject to change without notice; text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; this disclaimer is provided “as is” without any warranties expressed or implied; Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; Confined Space - Do Not Enter; user assumes full liabilities for anything and everything; not liable for damages due to use, misuse or abuse; equal opportunity disclaimer; no shoes, no shirt, no service; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; this disclaimer may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory: explicit lyrics; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; you need not be present to buy; some assembly required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; this disclaimer was packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your protection; do not read this disclaimer while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use; use only with proper ventilation; for external use only; if swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue reading; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; keep away from open flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; disclaimer contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated; smoking this disclaimer may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of this disclaimer; text is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no electrons were injured in preparing this disclaimer; no animals were used to test this disclaimer; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added. if symptoms persist, consult an physician; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; allow four to six weeks for delivery, maybe more; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized recycling center; please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop; reading in the mirror may be more complicated than it appears; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, or other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, use, or misuse of any items, typos, misspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.”

Customer support

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